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Home Self Esteem Self-confidence: the keys.

Self-confidence: the keys.

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Self-confidence is one of the basic pillars of happiness on which the motivation to face life’s challenges rests, the ability to establish good relationships with others and affirm ourselves before them, assume responsibilities, accept our own failures and a myriad of aspects that need your own confidence to manage them optimally.

Detecting the lack of confidence.

  • You do not dare to act: You fear failure so you tend to remain inaction . Doubts about your own abilities to face situations in your daily life.
  • You have negative thoughts : You send yourself messages like: “I am useless”, “I have nothing interesting to say”, “I will never make it”, “I am a failure of person” …
  • You do not affirm yourself in front of others: You do not express your wishes and needs , it is difficult for you to say no to requests from others even if they are uncomfortable for you and you have the feeling that people are abusing you.
  • You experience negative emotions: You feel guilty about everything even if the fault is not yours, you feel bad when you are criticized because you give credit to the opinions of others and end up despising yourself.
  • You build a bad image of yourself: You focus your attention on your negative aspects while overlooking the positive ones. This makes your self-esteem negative.

Improving confidence in ourselves.

Love yourself more : It is about learning to be tolerant with ourselves just as we tolerate the mistakes and failures of the people we love, for this:  

  • Turn off the inner critical voice and listen to the positive voice more.
  • When you feel guilty, verify to what extent you are responsible for the situations that make you feel bad. You will realize that in many situations you are not responsible for what happens in them.
  • Don’t be such a perfectionist, stop setting so many imperatives and take action. It is better to do things even if they are not perfect than not to do them.
Become aware of your qualities and defects: Not everything in life is good or bad, black or white, there are intermediate terms that qualify what we do and ultimately what we are. Don’t judge yourself in dichotomous terms and focus on seeing the nuances. Each of us is an accumulation of strengths, weaknesses and intermediate points.
Write down your positive behaviors: Become aware of what you do well . Write it down in a notebook, you will realize the multitude of things that you do well and overlook.
Listen to others: Others have an opinion about you just like you have about others. Listen to what they say about you , you will see that they have an image of you better than yourself.
Set achievable goals: The more unattainable the goals are, the less chance we will have of achieving them and the more we will doubt our worth. So lower your level of perfectionism. Start with simple, short-term goals to increase your self-confidence and your perception of self-efficacy.
Do not postpone tasks: The sooner you start to achieve goals and apply solutions, the better. If you procrastinate, everything will get bigger and you won’t know where to start.
Relativize failures: We do not fail or achieve absolute success. Do not focus on what you have left to reach the goal but on what you have approached to it.
Affirm yourself to others: Express your opinions and wishes while respecting those of others . Dare to say no and negotiate a satisfactory solution for all parties. Explain what is bothering you in a constructive way and respond to criticism calmly. Express your emotions which will help you understand and manage them.

 

In short, being yourself will help you build your confidence

 

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