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How to overcome self sabotage?

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Have you ever been in a scenario where you have everything planned ahead, but for some reason it just doesn’t work? You end up not completing the work or the work doesn’t meet your expectation?

This is a huge sign that you are self-sabotaging.

What is self-sabotage?

Basically anything you do that stops from progressing is sabotage. If, you keep depreciating yourself instead of working to get results, that’s sabotage.

If, you planned to go shopping grocery but just curled up in the couch with your mobile, that’s sabotage

If, you have other things to do, but you are still not done with the first one because it isn’t “perfect”, guess what, it’s sabotage.

How to find if you are sabotaging yourself?

  1. Are you comparing yourself with others?
  2. Do you feel like you have to be perfect all the time?
  3. Do you worry too much about what others might think about you?
  4. Do you feel low when someone accomplishes something, even if it is completely unrelated to you?

If, you said “yes” to the questions above, there is a huge chance you are sabotaging yourself. It is pretty bad, isn’t it?

Here is how to stop self-sabotaging

Steps to stop self-sabotaging

Identify subtle sabotages

Sometimes you’d right away know that a particular habit is making you less productive. But sometimes you may not identify it at all. This might be because you do them unconsciously.

One of the best examples of subtle sabotage is thinking that your life isn’t good enough. I’ve seen a lot of people lament about this. But what we forget is our thoughts have the power to get converted into reality. Over time, you might forget it was a word of exasperation and start believing your life is actually bad.

You need to work on identifying even subtle sabotages

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Self-reflect

Think about all the areas of your life. Work, life, home, relationship… the list goes on. Now make a list of things you love, things you don’t love, work that needs to be done but is still incomplete etc.

Why? Ask this question for all the items in your list.

For example,

You love watching Netflix. Why? Because, it helps you procrastinate. Sabotage.

You love painting. Why? Because, it keeps you calm. Not sabotage.

Make a detailed assessment about yourself, and work on sabotages.

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Convert from negative

Now that you have an assessment about yourself and you know what habits you need to work on. Think about the negative aspects of that habit.

No, we aren’t some kind of supernatural being to give up all pleasures (At least I am not). So if you love watching Netflix, think about why is it bad for you. Is it bad because you end up not doing what needs to be done? Then make it a point to watch Netflix after finishing that work.

It is always better to watch a movie at midnight rather than work at midnight with stress.

Look at patterns and associations

Is there something that triggers these habits? There are people who think too much about the future, get stressed and in order to reduce it they eat. Stress eating. So they might need to stop overthinking.

Is there someone you know who boasts about how successful they are? Such persons may make you feel low, and you might end up self-depreciating yourself. Try reducing the time you spend with them.

While, you are at identifying patterns, also analyze people you meet on a regular basis. If, you find that there is someone who always demotivates you or tries to pull you down, reconsider about still being friends with them.

Obstacle planning

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When you finally have analyzed everything, found the solution and are going on a spree to stop self-sabotaging, something might happen to break your resolve. Let’s say, for example, you need to lose weight. You have done all the research, threw out the unhealthy foods and switched to dieting. Perfect. Right?

Now, what would you do if your friends call you out for a dinner? What if you have a date and had to order double cheese pizza?

You might have to work out a little more to burn that extra calories, or you can even plan the other meals of the day accordingly. But you should first be aware this obstacle might come. The awareness will help you remain more resolved and hence help you work your way out of sabotage

Action step:

Always have a plan ‘B’ in hand just in case. This will not only help you if plan ‘A’ fails but also will make sure you don’t sabotage yourself

Take baby steps

Whether it is making a habit or breaking a habit, it is never a good idea to take a huge leap. While, that may seem easy, it isn’t unless you are a super ambitious person.

Make a plan for the first day and then increase it slowly and gradually. If, it is difficult, consider allocating cheat day once in a week, I repeat, only once in a week. Anymore than that means  you are going to fall back in the same sabotaging process

Be accountable to yourself

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There is always a sane you and a silly you. The silly you might provoke you with all the tempting ideas. “Let’s just take two cheat days.  It is totally up to you whether to be sane and shut it up or just leave it as it is and regret days later.

Be honest with yourself. It may be painful right now, but you’ll thank yourself later.

Self-love

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Since you are going to embark in a life-changing journey, it might be pretty daunting. So make sure to allot time for things that’ll leave you refreshed. A nice steam bath, strolling in the gardens, meditating, whatever you love. The aim is to feel light after the session.

Take care of yourself and improve yourself!

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